According to dictionary.com, narcissism is defined as an inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity. It includes the following synonyms: self-centeredness, smugness, and egocentrism. Psychologists will tell you that we are all a bit narcissistic to a certain degree and that narcissism falls along a continuum. There is such a thing as healthy narcissism. It's what keeps us from developing low self-esteem and keeps us caring about how we perform in school or at work. While healthy narcissism equips us with the confidence we need to nail a job interview, narcissism of the unhealthy variety is at the root of many interpersonal conflicts. This is because narcissists have great difficulty displaying empathy towards other people, accepting responsibility for their actions, and become very defensive when confronted with their "issues." Narcissists are master projectors and fail to see how any conflicts or troubles they're involved in could be the result of their own behavior. Rather, everything is the other person's fault.
When I first read The Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers about three years ago, I couldn't believe how closely aligned those characteristics were to my own mother-in-law. If you want a comprehensive overview of how narcissistic people behave, then I highly recommend you take the time to read it. My first reaction after reading it was, "I knew I wasn't crazy!" Narcissism manifests itself as a toxic force in many relationships, and if you're reading this, then you already know that. It took me a while (15 years to be exact) to figure out that I was dealing with a NMIL who spent years building her own narcissistic empire. Once my husband was able to see what had she'd been doing all of these years, we found ourselves in therapy, as many adults of narc moms do. This blog is our story.
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